Researching love can illuminate ongoing obstacles to fathers’ involvement

Dr. Alexandra Macht recently completed her PhD in Sociology at the University of Edinburgh where she was supported by the Centre for Research for Families and Relationships. In this post, Alexandra reports on some of the findings of her research into fatherhood and love.

 
There is very little research on the subject of the love shared between parents and children, and the contemporary father’s role in relation to masculinity. My research looked at a specific group of fathers, who are present (‘involved’) in the lives of their children, and their experiences of love. I considered involved fathers as embedded within and dependent upon an intimate network of relationships: to their children, their partner and their own parents. In my interviews with 47 fathers from Scotland and Romania from working-class and middle-class backgrounds, I explored the fathers’ love for their children:  How do they describe it? How does it compare to other kinds of love? How do they show it? What do fathers think love looks like in their countries?

I found that involved fathers understand love as a verb (it is something they do) in which both love and power are intermingled. The majority of fathers, had a hierarchical understanding of love in which the child was granted a distinct focus; some even distinguished between unconditional love for their children and the - at times - conditional love for their partner. Culturally, the fathers described love and said they expressed it in similar ways, with some minor differences: Scottish fathers thought love made their children warmer to others, while Romanian fathers thought it gave their children confidence to do things.

In order to maintain loving relationships with their children, involved fathers also had to work at communicating their love through speech and through their physical activities, as having ‘quality time’ was sparse and required planning. Financial and material resources were important in how men showed love and this is one reason why class differences continued to matter. Across both cultures, the importance of ‘providing’ persisted but it was deeply influenced by how society portrays the role of fathers. The image of the new father who is very loving is also something that is sold to men through advertising, in the process of spreading certain values globally from the Western part of Europe to the Eastern part.

Men as fathers build their identities on a mixture of beliefs about how they should be as men and as fathers, and sometimes there is tension between these roles. Shifting between the two roles is an emotional process I have called ‘emotional bordering’ - developed from Barrie Thorne’s concept of gender borders (1993), in which fathers adapt their communication and behaviour according to social circumstances and to how others respond to them. This new term helps explain a process of give-and-take which builds a man’s identity in close relationships. For involved fathers love appeared from spending time daily with their children, which can have further implications for family policies. By reducing involved fathers’ time with their children to merely two weeks of paternity leave, as it stands at the moment in the UK, the time to build a close, meaningful and loving relationship is also diminished. Flexible and state-supported provisions that increase the length of the parenting leave, could contribute to the emotional wellbeing and relational stability of fathers, their children and their partners.

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We will publish a research briefing based on Dr Alexandra Macht’s PhD research later this year. To keep up-to-date with news of CRFR’s publications and events follow us on Twitter, Facebook or by joining our mailing list.

Dr. Alexandra Macht is an early career researcher and newly appointed Lecturer in Sociology at Oxford Brookes University. Her sociological interests are emotions, intimacy, gender (particularly men and masculinities), culture and globalization. She holds a BA in Psychology from University of Bucharest, an MSc with Distinction in Child and Adolescent Mental Health and a PhD in Sociology from The University of Edinburgh. She has previously worked at the Centre for Research on Families and Relationships in Edinburgh, and is currently assistant editor for the International Review of Leave Policies and Research. The research detailed above has been generously funded by a grant provided from the prestigious UK Economic and Social Research Council. Alexandra uses the Twitter handle (@Alexandra_Macht)

Father and child image: ©iStock.com/FatCamera

Race and rural Scotland

For a short period following Scottish devolution there seemed to be a glimmer of hope for those involved in anti-racist work - we felt that 'racism' was perhaps finally being taken seriously at a strategic level and minority ethnic groups were perhaps all 'Jock Tamson's Bairns' after all.  A flurry of activities followed, and there have been many positive changes.  However, this initial optimism has been short lived: having 'done race' the policy emphasis has shifted to 'diversity', difference, identities and so on. There appears to have been a deafening silence on 'race'. 

Opening up space for debate on what we mean by ‘race’ and what we might mean by adopting anti-racist perspectives in contemporary Scotland is important to ensure that ‘racism’ is addressed more effectively than it is at the moment.

Rural Scotland

At two presentations last week I talked about the issue of race in Scotland, looking particularly at the experience of minority ethnic groups in rural areas and the construction of identity – of individuals, and of rural areas themselves.

Despite ongoing research and major structural changes in rural areas, the idea that urban spaces are ‘cosmopolitan’, in contrast to rural spaces as somewhat ‘homogenous' in a cultural sense endure. International migration and 'ethnicity’/‘race’ have only very recently been associated with rural places.

"It is difficult to keep your own language when there are not many people to speak to in your own language in the community. I have been to Bangladesh several times, but here there are not many Bangladeshi families about and no young people from the same community, this makes it difficult". Bangladeshi male, rural Scotland

Drawing on research undertaken in Scotland (listed below), we can draw the following conclusions about minority ethnic people’s experience in rural Scotland:

•          Their small numbers, diversity and dispersion, and the limited availability of public spaces (e.g. streets, markets, etc.) shape their experiences of rurality and can lead to feelings of social and cultural isolation.

•          These experiences are reinforced by prevailing policies and attitudes of local communities which can lead to strong pressures to assimilate.

•          Despite these challenges minority ethnic households have been proactive in developing adaptive strategies, making sense of identity across boundaries of place and space and challenging stereotyped notions of the ‘rural idyll’.

•          Identity claims are complex, multifaceted and changing. They are place-based in the sense that they are fixed to the local environment, but they are also determined by relationships with other places and spaces.

"I get a lot of people that ask at school “where are you from?” And, I say from (local town) and they say, “well how come you are a different colour?” And I say like well my mum and dad were from India. But I am from Scotland and have lived here all my life and my parents happened to have come from India. People should step back and think about what they are saying rather than stereotype people all the time."  Indian female, rural Scotland 

The referendum on Scottish independence in 2014 provides an important opportunity to start addressing these issues with a view to defining the kind of Scotland we would like to see - irrespective of the outcome of the referendum.

Dr. Philomena de Lima, is an Associate Director at the Centre for Research on Families and Relationships based at Edinburgh University, and is the Director of the UNI Centre for Remote and Rural Studies, University of the Highlands and Islands, Scotland, UK philomena.deLima.ic@uhi.ac.uk

Presentations will be available online:

• Researching Scotland’s Ruralities: Social Science Perspectives on Current Issues in Rural Scotland, 20 March 2013 http://www.scrr.ac.uk/events.php

• Race Equality in Scotland, the next 10 years, 19 March 2013, http://www.crer.org.uk/crerblog/entry/scotland-no-place-for-racism

Rural Policy Summer Institute - Agri-food systems and rural development: tradition, innovation and green governance

The 10th International Comparative Rural Policy Summer Institute will be taking place in Italy this year. This is a great opportunity to learn about a variety of topics related to  rural development  from  multidisciplinary perspectives involving post graduate students and staff from European and North American Universities , as well as  an opportunity to widen your networks. The Institute will also be of interest to policy professionals and practitioners working in the field of rural development https://sites.google.com/site/icrps2013/

Further reading

Anthias, F. (2008) 'Thinking Through the Lens of translocational positionality : an intersectional frame for understanding identity and belonging .'

Translocations : Migration and Social Change.  An Inter-Disciplinary Open Access E-Journal , ISSN Number : 2009-0420

Bell,M., Llyod,S., and Vatovec,C. (2010) Activating  the Countryside: Rural Power, the Power of the Rural and the Making of Rural Politics, Sociologia Ruralis, Vol 50, Number 3, July 2010, p205-224.

Chakraborti, N., and Garland, J. (Eds.) (2004) Rural Racism: Contemporary Debates and Perspectives.  Devon: Willan Publishing.

de Lima ( 2012) ‘Boundary Crossings: migration, belonging / ‘un-belonging’ in rural Scotland’ in  Hedberg , C. and  & de Carmo, R.  (eds) Translocal ruralism’: Mobility and connectivity in European rural space. New York: Springer

UK children need more volunteer male befrienders

Many boys say they would prefer a male befriender, yet less than a quarter of UK volunteer child befrienders are men, according to the findings of new research by Dr Sue Milne from CRFR.

The 'Me and My Befriender' study, funded by ESRC, gathered details of the experiences of 26 children, aged 6-15 years, attending nine different projects in Scotland and England. They interviewed children at various stages, both before and after meeting thier befriender, to understand how children viewed the befriending relationship.

Many of the children referred to befriending services face difficulties at home or in school. Some have learning or behavioural problems; others have been affected by the death or imprisonment of a parent, or by parental substance/ alcohol abuse.

“Befrienders offer relationships to children without being goal orientated. They make a very valuable contribution to the lives of children living in difficult circumstances,” says Dr Milne. “They provide friendship and support as well as the chance for the children to try new activities and enjoy themselves out of the house.”

To discover whether the gender of their ‘befriender’ matters to children themselves, researchers talked in depth with boys and girls aged 6-15 about their hopes for, and experience of, befriending.

Boys with a strong sense of a conventional male identity expressed a clear preference for a male befriender - someone with whom they could spend some ‘guy time’ and share interests and activities. Speaking of their concerns with a female befriender, some boys said:The shortage means many boys in need of a strong male presence in their lives are missing out on the adult male companionship they would like.

• “If I said I wanted to do a bit of woodwork or something, they’d say oh why would you want to do that, go and do something else or they just wouldn’t join in as much as a man would.”
• “I think with having my befriender we can do more of the go-karting, crashing into things, running around stuff… we can go cycling, and… he can help me and if he crashes I can help him.”
• “It would make a difference, like, if a man takes you out somewhere, it would be… like going to play basketball or going to a football tournament.”
• “No offence to any of the girls that I hang around with but I just … prefer to be with guys.”

Researchers suggest that girls, particularly those from lone mother families, could also benefit from a male befriender. At present, however, the shortage of volunteer male befrienders coupled with concerns voiced by some regarding the appropriateness of such a relationship means girls are rarely matched with men.

This lack of opportunity for girls to have a male befriender is unfortunate, says Dr Milne. “There’s no reason why male befrienders shouldn’t be matched with girls,” argues Dr Milne. “Certainly the only girl in our study who was matched with a male befriender said she had gained a great deal, particularly in confidence, from the experience.”

All children, Dr Milne suggests, would benefit from having greater contact with non-familial adults of different genders and generations. Given the predominantly female care provided to young children both at home and at primary school, children of both sexes could benefit from more contact with men. “How many opportunities are there today, particularly for young children from lone mother families, to experience men in their lives?” she asks.

“Clearly children should have this opportunity,” Dr Milne continues, “and a male befriender can certainly fulfil this very important role. More than 75 per cent of children referred to befriending services come from lone mother households. If more male befrienders came forward it would provide welcome options not just for boys but also for girls.”

Download the CRFR reserach briefing no.60, 'Me and my befriender: exploring adult/child befriending relationships'.

Visit the project website at: http://www.crfr.ac.uk/befriending/index.html 

You can contact Sue by email at: smilne4@staffmail.ed.ac.uk.